Thrifty
The twins and I headed to Ohio Thrift for a last minute bit of shopping Thursday night. They needed two sets of gym uniforms, and didn't have any suitable clothes that fit the dress code.
They were in prime humor, Tayler helping me look at some work clothes I was surprised to find would actually fit me, and both kids balking at the idea of a plain gray shirt (which is part of the dress code).
...
Tayler and I had a great banter going on while discussing the blazers rack.
"It's like, you wonder why anyone bought these clothes in the first place!" she said.
"Tayler, I can't decide," I said, holding up a jacket which had cool potential, but I wasn't sure it would look cool on me.
"Cool or not cool?" I said.
"Not cool," she said.
I couldn't help but notice the other shoppers in our vicinity chuckling to themselves as we talked back and forth.
...
Tyler, whose predisposition for fancy prom type dresses never has gone away, approached us with a dark red velvet dress with poofy sleeves several sizes too big for her.
"Mom," she said, "I was thinking I could wear this for Halloween."
"No."
"I can't wear this for Halloween?"
"I'm saying I'm not buying that."
"Maybe I could find a pretty skirt?" she asked.
"I don't know Tyler."
I am frequently in the position where I don't know how to tell Tyler gently that the clothes she is choosing are too expensive, AND not suitable for everyday wear. Of course, she never picks out anything but fancy dress. The girl was meant to be a princess. A princess who climbs trees, and takes risks and gets injured a lot... but still.
...
Meanwhile, Tayler found a black jacket good for work for me and decided I must try it on.
I had a bad feeling about the jacket as soon as I slid one arm into it. I was wearing a button up shirt that I rolled up at the sleeves, and the rolls of the shirt prevented the jacket from going on smoothly.
Tayler insisted I keep pulling it on, until both arms were stuck in the jacket.
"Tayler," I said, "This doesn't fit."
"Yes it does," she said, trying to button the front.
She stood pulling one button to the button hole on the other side, but not successfully getting anything to catch. Finally she gave up.
"Tayler," I said, thinking I might actually be stuck in the jacket, "how am I going to get this off? It's too tight!"
"It still looks awesome," she said.
I could not tell if she was serious or not. The jacket was so tight I couldn't quite breath comfortably.
The fact that she couldn't button the jacket was bothersome to me. I'm not THAT fat, I thought. To prove it, I buttoned it up, asking her if she had ever buttoned up a jacket before as she laughed.
"Mom," she said, a tinge of mischief in her eyes. "It's awesome."
"You've got to be joking!"
"No," she said, then turned me towards the guy who was waiting on his parents nearby in a lounge chair.
"Let's ask this guy!"
I could already see she planned to motion to him to agree with her, and I turned myself back. "Help me get this thing off!"
"I think you should wear it out of the store."
"You're a devil!"
...
We realized the shorts we were looking for were in the next aisle. Tayler exclaimed, "THERE THEY ARE!" and spread the clothes on our side of the aisle apart, reaching for the shorts on the other side.
I cracked up.
...
In the pants aisle, I found a glittered pair of pants with gold, pink and silver studs.
"Tayler, I found pants for you!"
For a moment, her face gave away her surprise and disgust.
Then she realized I was joking.
...
"Mom," Tayler asked, "If I throw up, do I have to go to school tomorrow?"
A woman in the next aisle choked back laughter.
"It depends," I said, "On whether you throw up on purpose or not."
"Nice try," the woman in the next aisle said.
...
In the checkout line, the kids were punching each other and laughing. Tayler included me by punching me in the chest, and I told her she better watch it.
"Tyler," she said, "Let's go out to the car!"
Tyler asked why.
"There's candy in the car!"
Tyler looked dubious.
"Isn't there mom?" Tayler asked.
"No."
"You're supposed to work with me."
"I was?"
...
As the cashier bagged our purchases, Tyler asked if she was a nice person.
"No," I said, laughing. "You're very disagreeable. You're mean, you hit old ladies, and you never share."
We laughed at how outrageous that statement was, and headed to the car.
School Tomorrow
The twins start school tomorrow. Of course, that means we are still up at 10:45 with various emergencies. Lordy.
Suddenly, I found productivity hiding under my couch. I reorganized my purse, my work back, a bunch of paper work... crossed a LOT of things off my task list...
Lunches are packed, bags are ready, and aside from taking Tyler to the doctor first thing in the morning- I think it will be a normal and smooth day.
Update: Oh, except Tayler can't remember her combination to her lock. She knows the numbers, but not the order, and I have NEVER been able to use combination locks.
Combination locks are Carina-proof.
Everything is Relative
It was a good day. I like the project, I like the people I am working with, and it is really interesting to put the pieces of a puzzle together this way.
The kids have been so sweet this week.
Yesterday Tayler made my lunch, helped me pick out an outfit, and reminded me to go to bed early.
Today, I came home to a clean house. Tyler worked all day doing laundry, dishes, vacuuming, cleaning... it was such a nice way to come home. She made dinner too!
Both girls were in such lovely moods.
I'm heading to bed early. Feeling a dark mood coming on, and the best I can do is just sleep it off. It won't last long, and with so many good things in my life, I can't imagine it will be very intense either.
Thoughts on Today
Just a few thoughts on my first day of this project that I am SO looking forward to working on. It's an official role much better suited to me than usual projects, and full of meeting and discussing things with people. What could be more perfect for an ENFP?
Fixed my glasses last night, finally. They rest where they are supposed to. Cool.
Couldn't sleep last night, woke up every hour to check the time. Can't remember the last time that happened- maybe before we moved?
Getting dressed this morning was fun. Being unembarrassed (or less embarrassed) of how I look goes such a long way.
Tayler made me lunch for today. All healthy stuff. She also left me a note on the fridge. I'll take a picture before I leave.
See you on the flip side.
A Terrible Accident
Samoa, as we have come to call the sweet German Shephard mix we rescued, stood at my door, waiting.
At 6:15, worried about the kids getting to school on time, I stumbled out of my room.
Then I saw this:
I said, "What is this?" to no one in particular. Samoa pushed her nose in my face, and tried to lie down on the white beads. I pushed her away, looking at the them.
I asked Tyler if there was anything chewed on in her room, where the path of beads led. She picked up her Frog, but he was not wounded.
I had a sinking feeling, when I traced the white beads to where Tyler's beloved Bunny sat, propped up against the wall. Bunny, whom Tyler has kept since she was 3 or 4, sat as if nothing was wrong.
Upon closer examination, I saw that Samoa tore her at the bottom, and the beads were leaking out.
Tyler wailed. "What happened to her eye?
Yes, not only had Bunny's guts been chewed out, but also her eye.
I held Tyler while she cried. Samoa looked guiltily at us both. I explained to Samoa the importance of Bunny. She jumped up on the bed, and cuddled up to Tyler.
"Samoa feels bad, Tyler."
"She does?"
"When I saw the beads, she was trying to cover the evidence."
I went outside Tyler's door to examine the beads. Samoa kept trying to cover it up. I realized that AFTER chewing Bunny, Samoa must have placed Bunny upright, in a sitting position against the wall.
Bunny lies in critical condition.
Yet, she still manages to smile.
Tyler took it all very well. We joked a lot about the incident. Best jokes:
"We're going to have to push Bunny's innards back in like Millicent*!"
"Bunny's going to need a patch for her eye. She's going to look bad-ass!"
*Remind me to tell you the story of Millicent later.
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers
Since the weather is so nice, we're going to fire up the grill (that we got off Freecycle) and make some hamburgers.
My parents are heading over to enjoy a late afternoon/early evening meal.
In the meantime, we're going to correct some of the craziness in the house resulting from our hasty departure to my cousin Holly's wedding shower. (I spent nearly an hour searching for my keys only to discover the kids had them in the car so they could listen to music on the car's stereo.)
Which reminds me, I have a running car! The window was stuck in one position, unable to roll up or down when we got it, meaning that we had to tape it shut on rainy days, but it was fixed last week. The urgency for fixing came on an especially hot day when I untaped the window and it slowly dropped to nearly completely open with no recourse. Ack!
My computer is now in worse condition than ever, forever cycling to try to update to the next critical update for Windows but never completing. This is probably the worst thing, since it means there is no chance of retrieving the important files from it. The USB ports stopped working before this happened, so I couldn't transfer to those, but I was hoping to pull the data over the network to the kids' computer.
Now I have hijacked Tyler's computers and we have had to start some new rules. I've noticed since we got home to Columbus, there has been a lot of TV and computer time prioritized over more important things like keeping the house picked up and getting homework done. This is convenient, in one sense, because now it gives me a push to start limiting it- not just because of the work I need to do on SOME computer - but because it's a great incentive to accomplish other things to earn the computer and TV time.
The twins let me sleep in until like 11:30 this morning. Super nice. The rest of day will be fabulous, I can feel it.
I like the quote that titles this post. It's from a Jewish Proverb. It shows the importance of the role mothers play- and all parents for that matter.
Affirmations
No matter how many times she has seen a film, Tyler watches them like an excited church-goer listens to a sermon.
The only difference is, instead of "Amen!" and "Praise him!" she shouts out "Bam! He told you not to mess with her!" and "He's sacrificing himself for her!"
1,2,3,4
Our internet service up time has been intermittent, and my computer is still in bad shape. The DVD drive is pretty much broken so I can't restore the system, and I'd rather get the data off before trying to reintall.
We received a DSL modem from Freecycle. I don't know if it's the modem, or the DSL service itself, but it seems to keep turning off, and then I have to piggy back off the central internet for the apartment complex that is dead slow.
Not to mention my overflowing inbox! 1289 emails! I bet half of them are legit requiring response or filing. The rest I just need to sort out and delete.
Whew!
My task list is through the roof. As soon as I get one thing done, 5 things take it's place. Slow down world!
As far as the job search, I'm feeling a bit stressed and worried, but I know things will work out fine. I've had a lot of promising interviews this week, though at least one place felt I was overqualified for the work they needed done. It seems all my life I have been underqualified, and now I am overqualified? I'm only 30. Come on universe!
I am thankful for the calm inside our house, the tremendous support that the twins' school gives the kids, and the awesome friends in my life. It's amazing how in tune the twins and I have been over the last few weeks. We're like a well oiled machine. Even during the rough times as the kids get used to the transition from Swedish to American life, it's all been something I can adeptly handle, and I am so impressed with the girls every day.
They crack jokes and make the situations in our life fun and keep things light. They are taking more and more responsibility for their futures and the parts of their life in which they should be self sufficient. I couldn't wish for better kids.
All parents probably say this about their kids, and I'm going to say it too:
My girls are the most awesome, fun, fabulous, and hilarious kids I've ever met. They fill my life with joy.
I like it like that.
The kids said something interesting to me last night. We were watching TV after having dinner, and intermittently discussing things on commercial breaks.
Tyler said, "You're acting different."
I asked them what she meant.
"It's like there's a different Mom in there. It's like you are a different Mom," Tyler said.
I started thinking.
"What does that mean?" I asked, "How am I usually?"
"Worried," Tayler said.
I was surprised. But after thinking about it, they totally called me on it. I usually am worried. Since I decided a few days to start shredding worries like I would do expired receipts, I feel calm and relaxed.
In a way, worries are a lot like expired receipts. When you think you need them they can't be used for anything anymore.
We're running a check
I woke up with the song "Just Checkin" by Beautiful South stuck in my head, and it's still there tonight 16 hours later.
There hasn't been much time for reflecting and writing since I arrived back in Columbus Ohio. Good old USA.
I've been a little hesitant to post anything at all, because I had a really bad string of luck / events / situations upon departure from Sweden.
From SAS not routing us properly through the right airport (layover 24 hours in Brussells), my laptop crashing and the DVD drive won't let me ressurrect the sucker, to the car accident last week, I've been holding my breath thinking, "If we just get through THIS..."
This is not to say that I haven't also seen a lot of good luck / events / situations. There's been a lot of those too.
Thanks to a few generous people, we have an apartment. We have most of the furniture we need for our dining room and living room. We have a car (though it's being repaired).
The twins and I have had wonderful bonding time. I've realized how much I like being “on my own.” I miss Mattias, but things ended well between us, and I know that he and I will always be friends. I think we just need and want different things for our lives. It's weird not having a big dramatic reason to break up with someone you love. When people ask, I almost feel guilty.
But then I realize that people have to have some sort of shared vision for a relationship to succeed. And there's no shame in our relationship ending because it was simply not able to hold both of our visions.
The kids are handling the stress from everything surprisingly well. I don't really know what I expected. I didn't expect. Maybe that is it. I've had at least one brawl in the house between the girls where I had to force them apart because a serious injury might occur. There was another thing that was a little more worrisome, but I am holding on to the idea that the schedule and order from being back at school again will even the emotional environment at home out. We have contingency plans if needed.
I think the most interesting thing I have learned so far is that no matter what you plan, try to head off and try to foresee, there will always be something you missed, forgot, didn't think about, or didn't expect.
Unfortunately, my fresh eyes for Columbus Ohio have already started to adjust back to life here. I say unfortunate, because I had intended to write all the things I noticed coming back.
The only thing that comes to mind is that I felt like taking a picture of the milk cartons here to send to my friends in Sweden. Which brought me to think about the differences in grocery food, and the differences in consistency and taste of food (SMAK!), and the quality of the food here and there.
That's it. That's all I have.
